


1.- Dangerous

by babynono (jenosgalaxies)



Series: Fictober 2020 [1]
Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Fictober2020, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenosgalaxies/pseuds/babynono
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Series: Fictober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951489
Kudos: 4





	1.- Dangerous

"Sure mom. Don't you worry I'm ok".

Flowers. I know I've smelled this before but I can't recognise it. Which ones? Not roses. Too easy.   
  
"Fuck, where did I leave my cashbee? I should get one of those card holders". Your hand gets lost in that red backpack of yours. Your bangs are long and they cover your eyes when you lower your head so you can't see well. You try to comb it back with your hand but it doesn't work. With a frustrated sight you find your wallet and take out the card you've been looking for.   
  
You enter the station and wait for the next train. Too easy. You've never worried about what surrounds you. Always so full of yourself and not caring about anyone else. If your cousin died tomorrow you would just say you're sorry not feeling an ounce of pain.   
  
You enter the train and sit next to the window. As you always do. Your black hair shines healthily under few lights that keep the train away from the dark of the night. Still on your phone you go through Instagram and post a story.   
"I'll miss home" and a pic of the landscape that can be seen from the train with the hour: 10.36 PM.  
  
You close your eyes and lay your head against the window. The ride is not long enough for you to fall asleep but still you have time to think about anything that comes to your mind. I'm sure you're thinking of him. Is him the one that you use to distract yourself from your obligations now? How ruin. Using someone else's time just to feel special.   
  
My heartbeatting increases as we get off the train. You get out of the station and put on your earphones playing some stupid playlist on before entering the city. I can hear your voice slightly singing a song we both know well. You love it.  
  
I hate it. I close my fist angrily not caring about the pain I'm feeling on my palm. Calm down. I take a deep breath before getting back into the matter.  
  
You walk unconsciously while I chase you. Slowly, I get closer to you. I take my time. Now I can hear the music you're listening to. I could sing along with you. What would you do if I softly sang you? 

You stop and I hold my breath. There are only a few centimetres between us and still I don't know if I'm excited or terrified. You look at your phone and that's when I remember why am I here.

"What is it? Yes, I'm going home, wait for me. I'm tired and you only think of having sex? No. Well, if you put it that way…" You laugh and hang out the phone. 

My hand suddenly covers your mouth and I can see fear in your eyes. Your horrified as I push you against the wall. You can't see me well since it's dark. 

"Did you miss me?" Your eyes open as you hear my voice. "I did".

I get closer to you and smell your scent. Tulips. You never change. I can feel you trying to escape from me, but you're not strong enough. I look you right into your eyes as you try to get off my grab. 

"Shh. Don't be in such a rush. Give me some time. You owe it to me". I take my lips to your neck and feel your heart racing. "Why are you so scared? I'm the one who got hurt because of your empty heart".

I start to feel the anger that's inside me and grab you tighter. "I was the only fool. No one played with your feelings as you did with mine". 

I let my lips run down your skin. I stop at your collarbone and inhale. "You were the one who started everything". My left hand touches your waist as I push my body on yours. "Why did you have to put it an end? I would have given you everything". 

My hair tickles you but you're to scared to enjoy it. I leave a soft kiss and look for your eyes. I take my hand off your mouth and touch your chin.

"Why?"

"Why?" I ask astonished by your question. "You're really amazing Wooseok. A real playboy who looses his boxers for any handsome and rich boy he sees. Playing with all of them until you get tired and feel like needing a change. Is that what happened? You just got tired of me. Well…" I hurt you a bit with my nails. I'm angry, I'm sorry. My nails want to tear your skin. "I can't get tired of you."

You suddenly stop every move at the feeling of a sharp thing against your skin. 

"Guess what? After being used and thrown away I spent a lot of time trying to faind out what had I done wrong to loose you and I got to the conclussion that it wasn't that I did some mistake, but that you can't love anyone except yourself".

A tear falls from your eye and you open your mouth as if you were about to say something. 

"Are you going to ask for help? The one who hurt everyone doesn't want to get hurt. How funny".

"Seungseung, I loved you".

I hit the wall next to your head. "Stop all that. Don't you dare lying to me again".

Another tear falls and after it, another one. You start crying.

"I'm not lying. I promise I did".

"Then, why?" A pain expression covers your face as my knife opens his way into you.

"I didn't want to". You close your eyes as I push my weapon against you, wrong answer.

"You only love yourself. You just left without a word. You don't do that to someone you love". 

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I wasn't ready. I didn't know what to do. Try to understand me. I missed home and my mom was sick".

"I offered myself to go with you. We'd been together for almost 4 years. You mother already knew me. Stop lying". 

I can feel your blood running down my hand. You're sweating and your face is all red and wet with your tears. 

"I gave you everything. And you ran away. I almost died. I didn't know what to do. I stopped eating and I couldn't get out of bed. But one day I saw you on TV and that gave me the strenght to get up. I started eating again and I went to the gym. I thought that maybe if I gave you some time, you would come back to me if I asked you to. But then I saw you in that interview. You said you were already engaged and all that hope turned into hate. Only 5 months had passed and you had already found my substitute".

I take my hands off you as I lay my head on the wall. I close my eyes strenghtless. "I'm just lost". 

You start to get away from me, but you're still looking at me.

"You ruined my life". I fall to the ground and the knife gets lost into the dark. "You're dangerous Kim Wooseok".

You run away. You get home in a few minutes and lock yourself in your dorm leaving your boyfriend worried although you try to tell him everything is ok. — I'm just tired — you lie.

The next morning you switch on the TV in order to watch the news and run out of breath. 

"Apparently this young male who's been found dead in the river was the famous rapper Cho Seungyoun. The doctors and the police are working together in order to know what happened. It could have been a murder, but there are no signs of fight so there are rumours of a posible suicide. His fans will be conmemoring his death this afternoon at-" You shut down the TV and bury your face in your arms. 

Everything is meaningless when the person you once loved is not alive anymore.


End file.
